The MFA DE&I Council would like to see an industry where everyone can thrive, feel heard, supported, and safe to do their best work. Let’s meet the Changers who are sharing their own lived experiences to inspire us all to change for the better.
My name is Jen (some people know me as JJ), and I am a very proud gay woman who is happily engaged to my partner of five years (whom I met working in the advertising industry).
I am a proud member of the OMG Open Pride Committee and I’m deeply passionate about LGBTQIA+ issues and, more specifically, allowing people to be their true, authentic selves everywhere they show up – especially in the workplace.
I hope by writing this article and campaigning for change we can aim to eliminate the biases that still exist in our industry, and society more broadly.
Coming out is emotional
My coming out story, like so many, was complex, uncomfortable and emotional. I hope that sharing it with others enables people to feel more comfortable about not just coming out and being their authentic selves with families and friends, but also colleagues and clients too.
My sister, who is seven years younger than me and also gay, actually ‘beat me’ to it and came out to my mum and family before I did – at my 21st birthday party. It did not go down well. The family was shocked. Devastated.
As a result of this, I hid my sexuality from my family, friends and colleagues for a long time. This came with many challenges, but mainly having to hide who I really was and pretending to be somebody I wasn’t. This was difficult enough at home, but in some ways even harder at work, where I spent most of my time.
Eventually, I mustered up the courage to tell people who I really was. The family took it better than expected, but at work it took me a while to embrace who I really was and put my authentic self front and centre.
Have you got a boyfriend? What’s your boyfriend’s name?
If you are a gay/trans/bi person reading this, I am sure you can relate. Seemingly very simple questions that come up regularly can often carry an incredible bias.
My go-to responses when asked if I had a boyfriend veered from the truth – ‘I don’t have a boyfriend’ – to outright lying – ‘My boyfriend’s name is X’ – (despite actually having a girlfriend).
I was simply too scared to even consider a more truthful response. What if I was rejected? Cast outside? Or, heaven forbid, let go from the job I love? The risks were just too high. Looking back now my reaction seems extreme, but when you are in that process, still figuring out who you are and allowing yourself to be your true self, you’ll do anything to protect yourself.
What can we do to eliminate bias in our industry?
It’s 2024 and I still get asked questions like this with the bias attached. Very frequently. Luckily, I have been around long enough now to feel comfortable in my own skin and confident enough to answer: ‘I have a partner, yes, and her name is Ciara.’
But for others, I can only imagine how hard it is to be faced with questions like this. Let’s avoid putting people in that position and instead help them on their coming out journey.
Advice for leaders
- Never make assumptions: get into the habit of using partner instead of boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife (unless of course you know them).
- Foster an inclusive culture where everyone feels like they can be whoever they want to be, free from judgment .
- Be open, ask questions, especially if you are getting the sense someone in your workplace is going through a difficult time figuring out who they are.
Jen Jones is Group Business Director at PHD