What they say: Tell me about yourself. What they mean: Can you present? Hint: “I’m…” is the world’s most boring way to start a sentence.
It’s the most annoying interview question. If the person sitting opposite you didn’t already know everything about you except what you like for brunch, you wouldn’t have been offered an interview. And if you’ve been using Facebook as an image gallery of meals you’ve eaten, he probably knows that too. Bore him with what he already knows if you want to. But, if you want the job, wow him with something someone he should admire says about you and slip in a few fab things you’ve done in past jobs. Above all, prepare this one at home.
What they say: What’s your biggest weakness? What they mean: How prepared are you to learn? Hint: This is not meant to be a mea culpa
If you’ve been in business for more than five and a half minutes, you have a reputation. It has good bits and bad bits. Find out what yours is. The person sitting opposite you probably thinks he knows your weakness(es) already. It’s rather likely that he wants to know if you know what he’s going to try to squeeze out from your M.O. and/or how receptive you are to being told how to suck eggs. Indulge him. It’s a cliché question with a format answer that everyone should know. Pick an insignificant flaw and tell him how you have triumphed, or are in the process of triumphing, over it. There are bonus points if you can dream up a bizarre flaw that will fascinate him or find and ‘fess to (in advance) one that he shares. Use wit and charm to tell its story. Subvert the ending – where you conquer it – by retelling (or inventing) a story about how your flaw was once your key to a win.
What they say: Where do you see yourself in five years? What they mean: Should I invest in you? Hint: Nine times out of ten, the absolute truth is the worst possible answer
The chances are you’re not going to be at the job for which you’re interviewing. It would be really dumb to say that. You don’t have the job yet, so it would be presumptuous to answer, “Making your business soar.” That answer also etches ‘toady’ into your brand personality. Toadies never win. Feel free to use, “running my own business,” and “having a baby,” if you’ve gone cold on the idea of working there and would prefer not to get the job on your own terms. You don’t have to share your career (or your personal) hope and dreams with anyone. Say you hope to be “smarter,” “hugely respected,” or “a whole lot more experienced.” They might even be impressed that you outmaneuvered the question.
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