This series of articles shines a light on toxic masculinity and encourages Australians to support themselves and their mates. Featuring industry leaders sharing personal experiences with the tagline -- When the going gets tough, get talking.
It celebrates the BOYS DO CRY campaign, which launched with a transformed version of The Cure’s iconic song, Boys Don’t Cry. The campaign is the brainchild of independent advertising agency The Hallway, produced in partnership with The University of Melbourne’s Centre for Mental Health, Heiress Films, Good Oil’s Tom Campbell, Uncanny Valley, Initiative and powered by UnLtd – raising funds for mental fitness foundation Gotcha4Life.
Next up is Paul Sigaloff, Vice President and Head of APAC at Yahoo and UnLtd Board Member shares his story:
When was the last time you cried?
It was the morning of the UnLtd Big Dream event, it was a big day!
I was excited and extremely proud to hear that Yahoo was to be inducted into UnLtd’s Hall of Good, and my promotion had been announced internally that day.
I was getting organised for the day and tried on my black suit - one I hadn’t worn since my dad’s funeral. I found a piece of paper in one of the pockets, opened it up and it was a poem I’d written about my dad that I read out at his funeral.
I read it and at that moment I felt like he was there to witness these two proud milestones. I told my wife and another mate and had a good old cry. It was truly surreal and now a treasured moment.
Tell us about your experience of traditional masculine stereotypes growing up.
Although my dad was very much a part of my life, my parents split when I was five and I was raised in a predominantly female household. I was lucky to have my grandmother, mother and big sister as my role models and they taught me that being in touch and showing your emotions was healthy.
When it came to school, sport and then the workplace, the traditional stereotypes were all about being on your ‘A’ game, being stoic, ‘manning’ up and getting over it. I was conflicted about when I should bury my feelings and when it was safe to open up.
What would you tell your 15 year old self about opening up and showing your emotions?
Firstly I’d say be yourself all of the time.
It’s okay to show emotion in any situation. Whether you're playing an important rugby game, or you've done really well or poorly in an exam, feel and express your emotions. They give you life. You don’t have to keep everything locked in a vault.
During the ups and downs of the pandemic the importance of sharing your emotions with others really came to light. My team gets together regularly to open up about our anxieties, and it really has brought us so much closer together.
I wish my 15 year old self had the confidence and foresight to do this earlier in life.
What do you want for the next generation?
I have two sons that are 15 and 16 years old. When I think of the next generation naturally I think about what I want for them. I want them to learn from my experiences and know that it’s okay to be yourself and express what you’re feeling.
I want them to know that no problem is too big to be solved alone, and that it can always be solved by talking to those around you. Lean on others for emotional support when you need to.
And ultimately I want them to know that when looking for happiness, look within, not externally.
What do we, as a society, need to do to challenge views that men should always put on a brave front?
We need to change the definition of ‘brave’. Bravery isn’t bottling up your emotions, it’s feeling and sharing them with others. That takes way more courage than being stoic and silent.
This campaign and conversation series is a great start. Boys can cry and boys do cry, and that is such a powerful and important message to share.
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