A series by AdNews shines a light on toxic masculinity and encourages Australians to support themselves and their mates. Featuring industry leaders sharing personal experiences with the tagline -- When the going gets tough, get talking.
It celebrates the BOYS DO CRY campaign, which launched with a transformed version of The Cure’s iconic song, Boys Don’t Cry. The campaign is the brainchild of independent advertising agency The Hallway, produced in partnership with The University of Melbourne’s Centre for Mental Health, Heiress Films, Good Oil’s Tom Campbell, Uncanny Valley, Initiative and powered by UnLtd – raising funds for mental fitness foundation Gotcha4Life.
Oliver Carthy, NSW Head of Digital – Carat Sydney
When was the last time you cried?
Christmas Day. I’d just come back from two weeks in the UK visiting my sister and mum as well as seeing my dad for the first time since he’d gone into care due to his dementia. With Omicron having taken hold, I’d spent the trip worrying about making it back and not really dealing with the emotional toll of the experience. When I put on some Christmas music while preparing lunch, I broke down.
Tell us about your experience of traditional masculine stereotypes growing up
I actually grew up in a really balanced household. Both of my parents were teachers and as a result of having a sister with disabilities (not to mention two boys), I had to have a pretty fluid approach to family/household responsibilities. My dad also started his career teaching biology at a tough high school and ended it with reception/pre-school which set a really positive example of bucking masculine stereotypes.
I played a lot of sports, mainly rugby, but I don’t think I fully subscribed or conformed to lad culture. I always had close female friends growing up that would have called me out on any of it, but to be honest it was never really something I aspired to.
What would you tell your 15-year-old self about opening up and showing your emotions?
Opening up and showing your emotions is positive and is essential to learning who you are.
Don’t try to navigate everything on your own and only turn to others when you’re lost or at breaking point. It’s not a recipe for success anywhere else in life and it certainly isn’t when it comes to your mental health
If you’re worried about those you’re surrounded by judging you, then surround yourself with better people but also know that people will always surprise you.
What do you want for the next generation?
To be able to talk openly, support one another and really value emotional intelligence. Nothing would make me prouder than my son growing up to be someone that’s not afraid to express his feelings but also importantly, someone that can recognise when others are struggling and provide the support they need.
What do we, as a society, need to do to challenge views that men should always put on a brave front?
For me it’s about normalising vulnerability and seeing real, authentic emotion from male leaders and role models whether at home, in education, sport, politics or the workplace.
In a sport-obsessed culture, there have been a number of high-profile stars recently that have stepped away from their game to deal with mental health issues which is really encouraging to see and sets a positive example for boys and young men.
I also think it’s about education. I don’t recall ever hearing the words ‘mental health’ throughout my entire school life although I’m sure it’s more present these days. You see memes about some of the less useful things you learn in school and the life skills you wish you had instead. A little more mental health and a little less Pythagorean theorem can only be a positive thing in my eyes.
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