This series of articles shines a light on toxic masculinity and encourages Australians to support themselves and their mates. Featuring industry leaders sharing personal experiences with the tagline -- When the going gets tough, get talking.
It celebrates the BOYS DO CRY campaign, which launched with a transformed version of The Cure’s iconic song, Boys Don’t Cry. The campaign is the brainchild of independent advertising agency The Hallway, produced in partnership with The University of Melbourne’s Centre for Mental Health, Heiress Films, Good Oil’s Tom Campbell, Uncanny Valley, Initiative and powered by UnLtd – raising funds for mental fitness foundation Gotcha4Life.
Next up is Charlie Newton, Group Business Director, at JCDecaux and Board Member of mental health not-for-profit Line & Length:
When was the last time you cried?
I’ve cried twice in the past fortnight. Once was happy crying while writing my speech for my wedding that’s just around the corner. There was a lot of reminiscing and appreciation of the great people in my life, and it’ll probably be waterworks on the big day!
The second time was attending the funeral of a mate from my old rugby club. I felt so sad for his family, partner and close friends who were going through such an exceptionally hard time.
Tell us about your experience of traditional masculine stereotypes growing up.
Playing a lot of sport and going to an all-boys school there was always a subtle, underlying expectation to be a ‘blokey-bloke’, to be tough and have a ‘she’ll be right’ attitude. I feel very fortunate that my family, friends and even the school I attended, while not perfect, taught that inclusiveness and acceptance are the most important attributes you could have.
We still have a fair way to go but I’ve seen a huge improvement in my group of mates. We jump on the phone, get a coffee, kick a ball and chat about what’s going on in our lives and how we are really feeling.
A close mate of mine even started a cricket day four years ago where we created a safe space for guys to open-up and chat about their mental health, things that have worked for them in managing mental ill-health and even recommendations on good mental health professionals. Lots of men are crying these days!
This has now turned into an official charity called Line & Length, that I am very proud to be involved with.
What would you tell your 15-year-old self about opening up and showing your emotions?
I’d tell myself that being the guy showing emotions, in a pretty stereotypical masculine world, is a hell-of-a-lot more courageous than fitting in with the norm. It takes strength and bravery to start the movement!
I would also tell myself to slow down, open my ears and ask those around me how they are going. I now know that there were people close to me who were lost, sad, depressed, anxious and I would’ve loved to have given them more support at the time when they were managing in silence.
What do you want for the next generation?
Pretty much what I said above, I want younger generations to understand the impact listening and talking can have. It’s so important to tell people that you’re there for them, you care for them and that you love them. While it won’t be the case every single time, these sorts of conversations can go a long way and start life-changing and life-saving conversations.
What do we, as a society, need to do to challenge views that men should always put on a brave front?
We need to lead by example. Initiatives like Boys Do Cry, Line & Length and dozens of other charities all set a great example, but we need this to trickle down into every company, sporting club and community group. It starts from the people leaders, coaches, teachers, influencers (and I’m not just talking about the one’s on Instagram), plus anyone who is open to talking about their emotions, taking mental health days, giving their mate a hug, and showing vulnerability. If these people do it, we will see it snowball.
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